Back To School & Substance-Free: A Guide for Every Age
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Believe it or not, it’s almost time for the kids to head back to school. This month, while you’re shopping for supplies and easing back into routines, there’s one more thing that should be on every parent’s to-do list: brushing up on strategies to keep your kids away from drugs, alcohol, and tobacco in the coming school year.
Decades of research has shown that effectively keeping kids away from these substances requires an ongoing effort—simply participating in one prevention program at school, or having one conversation at home, is not enough. Consistency is key, but it’s also important that our strategies and messages are tailored for children’s age and life stage.
The transition into a new school year is a great time to consider the most feasible risks your child may face during this phase of life, to reinforce the importance of safety and healthy habits, and to reflect on what you can do to help them navigate the choices ahead. The following guide can help you adapt these plans to best meet your child’s needs.
Early Elementary (Ages 4–7)
It’s never too early to start talking about drugs and alcohol, and starting now will help build a strong foundation for your later prevention efforts. Children are still too young for a detailed or nuanced explanation about substance use, but you can begin introducing the topic when “teachable” moments arise. For example, when someone in your home takes medicine, you can explain that there are different kinds of drugs—some that help, and some that hurt; and that even legal drugs and medicines must be used in a certain way to be safe.
Long-term consequences can still be difficult to grasp, so focus your conversations on the more immediate effects, emphasizing the importance of taking good care of our bodies. Drugs and alcohol can make them feel sick and can harm the body in many ways.
Elementary School (Ages 8–10)
As your child approaches adolescence, shift to a more conversational style. Ask what they’ve heard at school about drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes or vapes. If you see substances used in movies or television that you watch together, or if you see advertisements for them, ask your child how it makes them feel. Do they think the depiction is trustworthy? This type of conversation primes them to understand that media portrayals don’t necessarily reflect real life—an especially important lesson for children growing up in the age of social media and AI.
At this age, you can also introduce the longer-term risks that drugs and alcohol pose to a person’s health and safety, and explain that your family has rules against using these substances. Elementary school-age kids need their parents’ help building self-esteem and confidence, so be sure to leave space to listen to your child’s response, and to regularly reinforce their ability to make good decisions.
Middle School (Ages 11–13)
As hormones shift and puberty begins, your pre-teen may begin questioning your views and rules. While it can be frustrating, this is a natural part of the growing and maturing process. Do your best to weather these storms calmly, and don’t let small battles turn into a war—maintaining a strong bond and an open line of communication can help your child turn to you when they are faced with tough situations such as peer pressure.
Although your child may still seem so young, these years are critical for developing patterns of substance use. Children may begin to experiment with whatever substances are readily available—typically alcohol, tobacco, and inhalants. Ensure that your child clearly understands your rules about drug and alcohol use, but also do your part to keep your child away from substances altogether. Properly store any substances in your own home, keeping them inaccessible to children, and don’t hesitate to ask the parents of your child’s friends whether they do the same. Because experimentation happens most frequently in a social context, you should also get to know your child’s close friends so that you know what kind of influences they are surrounded by.
Finally, remember that the drastic and turbulent physical, emotional, and social changes can feel overwhelming to many children. Know the difference between typical pre-teen behavior and signs of a mental health issue, and seek help from a professional if needed.
High School (Ages 14–18)
At this age, your teenager may be developing a close friend group and their first romantic relationships—but families remain one of the most influential factors in whether they will use drugs, alcohol, and tobacco products. Continue fostering strong family bonds by regularly spending quality time together, whether it’s dinner each weeknight or a weekly family game night. Show that you’re interested in your child’s day-to-day life as well as their plans for the future. Of course, teens will also still need regular reminders that you have rules against substance use, as well as the consequences for breaking them.
Peer pressures can feel enormous during high school, so it’s crucial to help your child build healthy coping skills and stress management techniques. Start by encouraging them to get fresh air, exercise, and plenty of rest, and suggest joining a club, activity, or community group to explore their interests.
College (Ages 19–24)
Although your child is now a young adult, parents should still play an active role in helping them make safe and healthy choices. Remember that the human brain continues developing until around age 25, so your child’s decision-making skills are still being refined. Continue to promote healthy lifestyle choices, support your child in developing important life skills, and help them learn to become financially independent as much as possible.
Transitioning from high school to college, and often from home to a dormitory, can be a major source of stress and anxiety, even if your child is reluctant to admit it. Together or independently, you can explore what mental health resources are available on campus and encourage them to seek help if needed.